I have spent hours today (and the subsequent weekend) talking about solving workplace bullying, answering comments on Linkedin, replying to messages, calling friends and family that saw the post and want to talk about it. Mostly it was people who are concerned about me and my experience, but there were a lot of very close friends and family that wanted to share their experiences and solve workplace bullying!
There were some warnings too, two very good friends separately told me there was no business here. One (who works in consulting) shared they get hundreds of thousands of website hits on workplace bullying a month, but no sales. He told me there is no money in bullying products. Another said almost exactly the same, straight after the previous call. He said people wont pay to be a victim, and companies don’t want to admit anything is wrong.
What I’m Questioning So Far
Is bullying really about villains and victims? I don’t think vilifying bullies will solve this—or get me a job/work, frankly. Instead, I’m exploring whether we need to understand the nature of both parties: perhaps some people (victims) are hypersensitive, while others (bullies) are hyposensitive or have lack of self-awareness based on the repeated behaviour they see around them (culture). Perhaps companies don’t know, or don’t agree and instead prefer to work under the assumption that pressure creates diamonds. These are discussion points, not conclusions. I need data to test these ideas.​
What if bullying isn’t a single event but a series of micro-transgressions? From my observations, bullying manifests as accumulated intimidation and humiliation over time that erodes performance and self-esteem until people leave. But is this pattern consistent across experiences? I need to hear from you!​
Can we focus on cultural conditions rather than individual blame? If we understand the environments where bullying operates, we can identify where to focus change efforts. But what creates these conditions? ​ Are companies just bad at it, or are cultures supporting it. Are there inherent gains albeit short term in pressurising people to the point of bullying them to squeeze out more performance? Is that OK? Should it be OK?
Is there a business here? If my closest friends and consultants are saying there is not a lot of money in this then is it a business or is it a charity, or a service. I am aware of Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs) that offer service for victims to call and get support and advice but these are usually part of a rewards system and I am not convinced they get used. Certainly in my experience the victims feel uncomfortable calling this kind or support. In fact, victims of bullying seem so far to all try and deal with it on their own without any support. That may mean we need to look at what business is doing to create environments where victims and vulnerability are permitted, or supported in way that reassures them it is safe to share? I started to consider if it even matters. If a purpose is so strong and you want to work on it, does it matter that there is no business. Isn’t this about solving workplace bullying to irradicate it, to release and support people and make a difference?
Why Public Vulnerability?
I believe bullying persists because we don’t discuss it openly. We feel weak sharing our experiences. We develop learned helplessness and stop seeing the point of challenging the system (or culture). Organizations avoid the conversation because the problem feels too large to solve or they fear they will lose high performers – people they may perceive as high performers ​can be bullies because they position themselves so brilliantly as critical to the organisation (even this could be an interesting question to explore about the bow up bark down approach that leaves senior teams unaware).
By sharing vulnerably, I hope to create safety—for people to share their experiences, and eventually, for companies and individuals to acknowledge and address their culture to create environments where people thrive, not just survive. I know it is possible, successful companies do it, which means it can be done but it takes a leap of faith!
What I’m Building (I Think)
Right now, I’m exploring ideas, not selling solutions:
- A Youtube channel that explores the journey to solve workplace bullying as well as invites guests to share their expertise. I have considered sharing experiences on the channel but so far nobody has said they are willing to do it. Instead, perhaps a podcast type approach where I interview experts?
- Resources for people experiencing workplace bullying if only to direct people to help and support?
- A framework for healthier working environments that companies can use to assess and identify opportunities to reduce bullying and improve engagement and therefore performance?
- Potentially consulting with companies to shift culture using success models and talent data analytics, or creating their own success models?
But first, I need to work with people to understand their experiences. I need to listen before I can design interventions.
This daily blog post and the weekly Linkedin Newsletter that will accompany it—is my commitment to work through this openly. I’ll share what I’m learning, the research I’m finding, the struggles I’m facing in building this venture, and the questions I don’t yet have answers to. If you can possible subscribe, share, comment or simply react to my social posts it helps me to push on and solve workplace bullying.
Your Voice Matters
This is Day 2 of “Solving Workplace Bullying” as part of building a consulting practice. But I can’t solve this alone.
If anything I’ve shared resonates with you—whether you’ve experienced workplace bullying, witnessed it, or struggled to address it in your organization—please comment, get in touch, or leave a message confidentially on my website. Your experiences will shape this work.
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